Story: Sue Ellen's Sneezes

(Traditional Nursery Rhyme sourced from The Nursery Rhyme Book by Andrew Lang)

It was a crisp Sunday evening in New York City. Sue Ellen cozied up in her loft on the lower east side with a cup of steaming hot chocolate in hand. Her long brown hair was tied back into a sleek ponytail and she somehow managed to make her pajamas look professional. Sue Ellen was the type of woman who had every minute of every day planned. She never veered from the plan that she made for  herself. Every Sunday she took the day to herself to recharge and gear up for the workweek ahead. Little did Sue Ellen know what this week had in store for her.


“Beep, beep, beep,” Sue Ellen’s alarm clock went off and her week began. She threw on her black pencil skirt, a blazer, and her most comfortable heels and headed off to the office. Sue Ellen ran out the door so quickly she hardly noticed her allergies beginning to act up. She was running to catch a taxi for work when her eyes welled up with tears and she felt a sneeze coming on. Just as Sue Ellen was about to cross the street and hop in a taxi, “ACHOOOOOOOO,” her eyes shut for half a second and then an abundance of horns began to honk and before she could open her eyes someone grabbed her arm to pull her out of the street. Her eyes opened and she came to the realization that she could’ve just been hit by a car due to her allergies. The beginning of an old rhyme her grandmother used to say popped into her head, “If you sneeze on Monday, you sneeze for danger.” The rest of Sue Ellen’s day went according to plan and no more near-death experiences occurred. She could only hope Tuesday would be more in her favor.


Tuesday morning rolled around just like Monday and Sue Ellen managed to make it to work in one piece. Meetings, phone calls, and emails all were completed on time and in an orderly fashion and the office waited for 5 o’clock to roll around. One of Sue Ellen’s co-workers was celebrating her 26th birthday and the whole office went out to celebrate with happy hour. One drink led to another and soon the whole office was seeing double, erupting in laughter, and participating in a night they probably wouldn’t remember. Between the haziness of the alcohol and allergy medicine, Sue Ellen felt another sneeze coming on. “Oh no,” she thought, this couldn’t mean anything good. “ACHOOOOOOO,” Sue Ellen opened her eyes only to find an attractive man standing before her. “Bless you,” he said, and Sue Ellen thanked him and then erupted into nervous laughter. The two hit it off and after hours of authentic conversation, goodnights were exchanged and he kissed Sue Ellen before they parted ways. The second line of Grandmother’s rhyme popped into her head, “Sneeze on Tuesday, kiss a stranger.” Sue Ellen wondered what her allergies had in store for Wednesday.

(Personal Image was taken in NYC in August of 2016)

Sue Ellen woke up Wednesday morning with a major headache and a throat that longed for a glass of cold water. She took some medicine to rid herself of the hangover and the allergies that still lingered. While she lay bundled up in her covers, she dreaded what the rest of the week held. Monday and Tuesday foreshadowed the days to come so Sue Ellen thought it would be best to go over the rest of the rhyme in her head,


“Sneeze on a Wednesday, sneeze for a letter ;

Sneeze on a Thursday, something better ;

Sneeze on a Friday, sneeze for sorrow ;

Sneeze on a Saturday, see your sweetheart tomorrow.”

Sure enough, Wednesday night after Sue Ellen sneezed a letter came through her mail slot from a long lost friend wanting to make up for lost time. Thursday rolled around and Sue Ellen’s allergies remained. She scurried to the office just like any day but there was a bouquet of sunflowers waiting on her desk for her arrival. The sunflowers came attached with a promotion and Sue Ellen thought this couldn’t get any better. On Friday morning, Sue Ellen’s infamous ‘ACHOOOOOOO” occurred once again, and resulted in a downpour on the city. The heavy rain kept everyone inside and their spirits low, just like any gloomy day would. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday’s rhymes had all come true. Now all that was left was Saturday.



When Sue Ellen returned home Friday night she couldn’t have been more thankful for the week to be over. Her bed awaited her with open arms and engulfed her in a blanket of warmth. As she lay in bed, she realized that her allergies were finally beginning to come to an end and she was hopeful for one last day left of this sneezing madness.



The last line of the rhyme said, “Sneeze on a Saturday, see your sweetheart tomorrow.” Sue Ellen laughed at the thought of seeing her sweetheart because she didn’t have one. She was the type of woman who fell more in love with her job and the city she worked in than with a man. She valued friendships and community and while she was always alone, her heart was never hardened. Saturday she spent the day recovering and taking care of herself and wondered who she would run into the next day.

(Personal Image was taken in NYC in July 2016)

Sue Ellen woke up to get her daily coffee from the coffee shop right around the corner. Her eyes began to water and her nose started to sniffle and she knew what came next. “ACHOOOOOO,” just like clockwork she sneezed and then before her the same man that kissed her goodnight at the bar walked into her coffee shop. Their eyes locked and he flashed a big ole smile just as he blurted out his greatest pickup line, “Bless you.”

Author's Note:

At first, I struggled coming up with a story based off the Nursery Rhymes that were given to us to choose from. I knew I wanted to do something based in New York City because a big part of my heart resides there. In fact, I’ll be moving there permanently this coming December. I knew my story setting but then it became a matter of what the plotline was. I looked through the fables and rhymes until I came across this one and it just stuck out at me. I thought there could be something magical about these said sneezes, thus bringing this story to life. The rhyme allowed for a lot of creative freedom which made this story enjoyable to write. I liked that I could tailor this story to my own liking and insert my own photos. In a weird way, I picture myself as Sue Ellen. I used my own office and experiences to make this story more believable and relevant to the audience. I think out of all the nursery rhymes I could choose from this one was not commonly known which made it enjoyable to write. This story was based on the traditional nursery rhyme found in Andrew Lang's The Nursery Rhyme Book.

Bibliography:

This story is based on the nursery rhyme "If you sneeze on Monday" in The Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang.